Browns Fall To Tuskers

The Cleveland Browns were trounced by the Florida Tuskers Sunday 31-3.

A Glance At The Standings

With a glance at the standings we see that the Browns, while not the worst team in the league, definitely have their work cut out for them. If the Brownies could some how figure out to block, run, tackle and catch, they just might be able to catch the Redwoods and possibly overtake the Locomotives in the standings. However, surpassing the Florida Tuskers would be a tall order at this point. Hey wait a minute! The Browns could not beat the New York Sentinels or the Florida Tuskers. Who am I kidding? They couldn’t beat the Memphis Maniax of the XFL, the San Antonio Gunslingers of the USFL or the Shreveport Steamers of the WFL. Now if the Steamers moved to Cleveland, they would be the…..oh nevermind.

Seriously, this has to be one of the worst teams ever to take the field. The 1999 expansion Browns scored 28 offensive touchdowns while going 2-14. That is 1.75 TDs per game. The 2009 Browns are on pace to score a little over 9 touchdowns for the entire season! That comes out to about half a touchdown per game.
Let’s see what our fearless leader Randy Lerner has to say.












Thank you, Randy for those soothing words. I feel a lot better now. Does this guy even exist? Maybe Keyser Söze owns the Browns. The only thing rarer then a Randy Lerner sighting is a Browns TD. If anyone has evidence of either, please let me know.

The Peter Principle

As I watched Butch Davis's North Carolina Tarheels blow an 18-point lead to struggling Florida State the other night, curiously, I began to wax nostalgic. At first I was perplexed by these unexpected feelings. But as I thought about the current Browns I began to understand why. The 2009 Browns are horrific. Coach Mangini has fans crying out "Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?"! These Browns can't run, run block, pass, catch, pass block, defend the run or rush the passer. Consequently, they are out of every game. Even if the score is relatively close, you know the Browns will never pull it out. This is BORRRING! Now the Butch Davis Browns knew how to lose. Under Butch the Browns engineered some of the most memorable, excruciating, unbelievable, unthinkable ways to lose NFL football games. My question to you is what is the most incredible Browns loss in the Lerner era? My vote goes to the Dwayne Rudd helmet game. It was opening day 2002 against the Kansas City Chiefs. With 29 seconds left Phil Dawson kicked a field goal (his fourth of the day) to put the Browns on top 39-37. Dawson and Gardocki (the place kick holder) were called for unsportsmanlike conduct. That's right the kicker and the punter were called for taunting. As a result Dawson had to kick from the 15 yard line. The Chiefs ran the ball back to their own 35. After a twelve yard scramble Trent Green spiked the ball with four seconds remaining. Then, Dwayne Rudd blitzed on the following Hail Mary play. As Green was being pulled down by Rudd, he flicked the ball to lineman John Tait. Tait had never run with the ball in his football life dating all the way back to Pop Warner. But on this day against the Browns he rumbled 28 yards down to the Browns 25 yard line. Rudd thought he had sacked Green and the game was over. So he did what any classless football player would do. He ripped his helmet off and strutted around. Why wouldn't Rudd want to bring attention to himself? He was part of a defense that gave up three Priest Holmes rushing touchdowns in the last 9 minutes of the game. Since the game was not actually over Rudd was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct for taking his helmet off. The ball was moved half the distance to the goal line. Morten Anderson kicked the game-winning field goal with no time on the clock. That Browns fans is how to lose an NFL game.

Maiden Voyage of The Brown Log

Welcome to my first ever blog. This blog will be all about the Cleveland Browns and how completely and unbelievably inept the franchise has become. I started this thing not because I hate the Browns, but because I love the Browns! Hell,my DNA strands are orange with white and brown stripes. I just think we fans deserve much better. Like many fans I inherited this passion from my Dad. He grew up on the Browns and imparted to me the proud history of the team. Paul Brown, Jim Brown, Otto Graham. They were the New York Yankees of the NFL, the model franchise. Fast forward 45 years later and what happened? They are now the laughing stock of the league and arguably the worst franchise in the NFL. Matt Taibbi of the Rolling Stone thinks so. Matt usually warns us of the greedy bastards on Wall Street or the war pigs that get us into all kinds of trouble around the world. But in the current issue of Rolling Stone he felt compelled to deviate from his usual geopolitical themes to let the world know that Coach Eric Mangini has taken our beloved Brownies to new depths. Rock on Matt!
At first, I tried venting my frustrations by writing letters to Randy Lerner. I have written three. He never wrote back. I cannot believe it! That one-way correspondence was not cathartic at all for me. My hope with this blog is that we Browns fans can create a loud enough voice to be heard. We can tell Lerner and Mangini and whoever else screws up the Browns that we are mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore! I will post after every game and any other time Browns news is made. Hopefully I will occassionally have something positive to comment on. So go Browns! Beat the Packers! Or at least keep the Green Bay offense to under 500 yards.