BREAKING NEWS: Browns are looking to change leagues

A stunning development has been leaked today to The Brown Log. The top management of the Cleveland Browns, have launched a project to change leagues, leaving the NFL for greener pastures. An insider confided to The Brown Log that the target of this project is "to deliver a long overdue and well deserved championship to Cleveland fans". Rumor is that the primary objective would be to join the Canadian Football League.

Browns representatives watched yesterday's Grey Cup to build insight into this new potential partner. In fact rumor has it that on the next to last play of the Grey Cup, the Saskatchewan Roughriders used a scheme designed by Eric Mangini, the 13 man field goal block.

We'll have more on this development in the coming days, stay tuned.

Browns are Super Bowel Champions!

The Browns have done it! They are Super Bowel champions of the football world! In one of the greatest games in Super Bowel history, the Browns dug deep and showed the kind of character and fortitude we all know they possess. It did not look good at first. The offense, which has been the strong suit for this team in its quest to be the worst, scored three touchdowns in the first quarter. But the defense picked up the slack and quickly got the Browns back into contention by giving up three quick touchdowns themselves. With the Browns on top 27-24 at halftime, the outcome was in question. But the defense came through. On a Hail Mary pass at the end of the game Hank Poteat was called for pass interference. On an un-timed down Matt Stafford threw his 5th touchdown pass of the game to tie it up at 37. The last rookie to throw five TDs in a game was Ray Buivid of the 1937 Bears. What an added honor for the valiant D! The Lions kicked the extra point to win the game 38-37. Everyone from the ball boy to the head coach can share in the title. They have all contributed and should all be very proud. Now the Browns can say without dispute that they are one of the worst teams of all time! Way to go Brownies! We love you!

Dog fights on the gridiron: Penguin's inferiority complex

Are Cleveland Browns players suffering serious injuries in after practice "opportunity periods" because former ballboy Eric Mangini hopes that ridiculously tough drills will convince players that he is a tough guy like John Wayne, Clint Eastwood or Woody Hayes instead of Burgess Meredith's version of The Penguin? I'm very concerned that the answer to that question is a resounding "YES!"

This week the Cleveland Browns were required to meet with NFL Players Union officials over concerns about player safety related to Eric Mangini's now infamous "opportunity periods". This season alone, at least two players have been maimed with serious injuries in these drills.

The Browns have been hush hush about providing details into the after practice drills but from the sounds of it, the opportunity periods are an excessively violent drill that young players must "volunteer" for to show their bloodlust and to impress their "leader", who dangles the incentive of increased playing time in front of those who complete the drill most successfully.

People from Ohio love football and we love tough coaches. I personally own nearly every film, book, article and piece of memorabilia about one of football histories toughest coaches, Woody Hayes. Hayes was known to have brutally tough practices, but if you dig deep into his preparation and read the many books Hayes wrote, you'll find Hayes was thoughtful in planning practices that did not unnecessarily risk the safety of his players. So yes, Hayes was tough, but he was also wise. What about Mangini? Well, Eric Mangini is clearly no Woody Hayes. Hayes' toughness seemed natural, it came from a place deep inside him. People call this character. Mangini's toughness appears to be more the play-acting of a person who is just not up to a challenge, and has to demonstrate false bravado for fear that everyone will realize he is without substance.

The opportunity periods must be completely devoid of the kind of careful planning that Hayes was known for. Frankly the drills sound depressingly similar to Michael Vick and dog fighting. Vick went to prison for organizing dog fights that maimed and sometimes killed animals. As a dog lover, I felt compassion and anger when I read what those poor animals endured. Reading Jamal Lewis' complaints about Mangini, it occured to me that perhaps if we knew every detail about the Brown's opportunity sessions, we might all feel the same shame and pain for the human beings that Mangini might be abusing.

When all the details finally come out, we may be faced with a Mangini scandal. From what we already know about the two serious injuries that occured during the opportunity periods, it's apparent that at a minimum this represents irresponible behavior by Mangini, who is entrusted with the duty to safeguard his players health, not to brazenly abuse them. Yet another sign that the Cleveland Browns are on the wrong path!

Ray of Light

Well, we were all cringing, waiting for that defining shameful moment during the Monday night game against the Ravens. It came late in the game after a Browns interception. A frustrated Brady Quinn chopped blocked Terrell Suggs after he threw the pick. That’s right, the golden boy, golden-domer was flagged for a cheap shot. I can understand why he was frustrated. He sucks and everybody around him sucks. That had to be embarrassing in front of a national audience. There is a debate as to whether it was a dirty play. Ray Lewis thinks so. Lewis is screaming for Quinn to be fined. That is rich Ray. Why don’t you have your posse stab him in the chest? That would be proper retribution right? Ray Lewis was convicted of obstructing justice in a case where members of his posse allegedly stabbed to death two men from Akron, Ohio. This tragic event occurred in Atlanta during Super Bowl weekend about 11 years ago. No one was ever convicted of the murders. So the convicted felon who covered up two murders in order to protect his buddies demands justice concerning a cheap play on the football field. Why don’t you drive 30 miles south of Cleveland Stadium and complain to the families of the two murdered men. The following SNL clip says it all.

The Browns are Making History

The Cleveland Browns have scored just five offensive touchdowns in the last fifteen games. The last team to be that astonishingly inept was the 1933-34 Cincinnati Reds. Randy and Eric were definitely inspired by that team of days gone by.

The worst offense ever

You have a better chance seeing the Browns score a touchdown on the Tudor electric football field then you do in actuality. Stay angry Browns fans.

Are you ready for some pratfalls?

On September 21, 1970, The Cleveland Browns defeated the New York Jets 31-21 at Cleveland Municipal Stadium in the first- ever Monday Night Football Game. At the time, the weeknight game was thought to be a fleeting gimmick. But as we all know, MNF quickly developed into an American institution and Cleveland was there to usher it in. Back in the good old days when the Brownies were a legitimate NFL team, I would get so excited to watch them play on the national stage. Sometimes they won, sometimes they lost but it was always a thrill to listen to Dandy Don, Frank and Howard focus on our beloved Browns. My personal favorite was a 1979 game against the Cowboys. It was all Browns that night in a 26-7 victory. And there was the added bonus of watching Drew Pearson vomit through his facemask. Flash forward to the present. I have never dreaded a game more then the upcoming Monday nighter against the Ravens. The story lines will be dominated by the “brown out”, the debacle that is the 2009 season and what an inept buffoon Eric Mangini is. The question is not will the Browns win or lose. The question is not will the Browns get blown out. Both are forgone conclusions. The question is what embarrassing, memorable event will occur that shames us all. I sense something epic. Will Eric Mangini’s hair catch on fire a la Mayor Ralph Perk? Will Lake Erie catch on fire behind the stadium? Just when we think it cannot get any worse, it gets worse. And to top it off, the shellacking will be at the hands of the hated ratbirds of Baltimore. Stay angry Browns fans, you have every right to.

Jim Brown: Intimidation and domination

Once upon a time, a long, long, long time ago, the Cleveland Browns inspired fear and awe in their opponents.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

What do trailer parks and Cleveland sports have in common? God REALLY hates them both! If we didn’t have bad luck, we’d have no luck at all. Perhaps luck has nothing to do with it. Luck always seems to be against those who depend on it. Successful men subscribe to cause and effect. Owner, Randy Lerner hired an unqualified head coach. Head Coach, Eric Mangini then convinced Lerner to hire an unqualified (and powerless) GM, George Kokinis. We have three men (now two, thanks for the memories George) using poor judgment and making bad decisions. The result: a 1-7 team with no hope of salvaging the second half of the season. Consider this. The Chicago Bears sandwiched a 30-6 victory over the Browns between a 45-10 drubbing by the Bengals and a 41-21 smackdown at the hands of the Cardinals. The Browns’ offense is on track to set some dubious records. The fewest points scored in a season by an offense, fewest touchdowns scored in a season by an offense, and the lowest quarterback rating for a season by a starting quarterback are all within reach. Brian Daboll and his merry gang have scored five offensive touchdowns. The New Orleans Saints’ defense has scored six. And if the putrid play on the field weren’t enough, there seems to be a daily avalanche of criticism heaped on the Browns, Lerner, Mangini and Derek Anderson in the national and local media. Every bit of the criticism is justified but it is hard to take. Just once I would like to read something positive about my Browns. I will work on that in the next entry.

Many fans are hopeful that the Browns can sneak up on the staggered Ravens next Monday night. But the Browns seem to save their most ludicrous moments for the bright lights of the national stage. I expect to see the players file out of a tiny car like midget circus clowns. Then they will run up to Ray Lewis and spray him in the face with a seltzer bottle. Actually I would like to see that. So Browns fans just half to grin and bear this surreal, nightmarish season. But come January 4th, Randy Lerner better fire Man-dumbass, do his research, check all references and hire both a qualified general manager and a competent head coach (yes, in that order) and turn this franchise around. Manufacture some Browns good fortune Mr. Lerner by making a careful and measured decision just once.

Brown's history: Don Shula

There are countless Paul Brown disciples that became successful head coaches. My favorite is Hall of Famer Don Shula

Shula, who was born in Grand River, Ohio, played defensive back for the Cleveland Browns under Paul Brown from 1951 to 1953. Interesting to note is that in the history of Pro Football only two coaches have had perfect seasons. Don Shula with the 1972 Dolphins in the NFL and Paul Brown with the 1948 Cleveland Browns of the AAFL.

Shula became a head coach in the NFL at the ripe young age of 33. Sound familiar? If so, the question in everyone's mind is, why was Shula such an instant success? My answer would be Shula's depth and variety of experience was notable even at 33 years old.

Shula played and studied under Paul Brown and another Brown disciple named Weeb Ewbank at Baltimore. Shula began his coaching career as an assistant coach at the University of Kentucky working for yet another Paul Brown disciple named Blanton Collier. Shula also was an assistant coach at the University of Virginia and defensive coordinator for the Detroit Lions.

What does this all say?? Anyone who has run a business knows that as a check and balance to your own first impressions, when you hire someone you look to find several references. Shula at the ripe young age of 33, had served as a coach under 3 different men, and played for 2 more, all whom recommended him highly. It's a basic rule in business to hire persons with multiple good references.

Eric Mangini worked as a ballboy and gopher for Bill Belichick and obviously knew how to kiss up to Belichick but one has to wonder if Mangini learned anything other than how to impress in a short interview and perhaps while working for Belichick, how to cheat. In a sad and final irony, I've read articles in which Belichick himself is quoted as stating he never viewed Mangini as head coach material.

Mangini's results lead fans to question just how professional the Browns hiring practices are. Why did the Cleveland Browns hire a person with such a thin resume? It's just not consistent with lessons anyone could learn from studying Brown's history.

Learning from Brown's History

Many football historians refer to the Cleveland Browns in their early years as "the New York Yankees of football." With the 2009 Yankees just winning their 27th World Series title it's worthwhile to reflect on the Brown's historical achievements. It's said that history is filled with lessons we can all learn from and those great Browns teams from the past offer many lessons that contrast to the pitiful situation we have today.

Today let's pay homage to one of the greatest coaches in football history, Paul Brown, the man, according to many, for whom is team is named.

Brown's achievments are long enough to fill pages and pages of blogs among them player intelligence tests, helmet radio transmitters, and the facemask. He is also credited with developing the genesis of the west coast offense later made famous by one of his many disciples Bill Walsh. What today's Cleveland Browns could learn from this great figure in football history is that a coach must be able to organize, create, innovate and execute. He should command respect but know when to use common sense in dealing with people and most of all, he needs to produce results. In their first 10 years under Paul Brown, the Cleveland Browns played in the championship game 10 times and won 7 of them.

Ohio is home to an incredible football legacy. We are the birthplace of pro football and home to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. We deserve to be home to a football franchise that honors that legacy.

Burning Up The National Football League

Well the dumpster fire that is the Cleveland Browns continues to burn out of control. This past week Randy Lerner attempted to overcome his agoraphobia. After watching the beat down at the hands of the Bears, he let us fans know that he wants to add a “credible football presence”. And Casper the Friendly Owner did meet with two longtime fans and listened to their concerns/complaints/criticisms. Rumor has it he floated through the wall to enter the meeting room. Whoopi Goldberg served as medium. Seriously, I applaud Lerner for meeting with those fans. Most owners’ egos would not allow them to pull that off. It is about time we got some reaction from the brass. Even Captain Smith of the Titanic let those in steerage know they were f’ed. This pow wow came the day after The Browns let general manager George Kokinis loose. "Reclusive" George makes Lerner look like Kanye West at a Taylor Swift convention. No one knows what he did if anything. Maybe he was the Michael Scott of the Browns and planned all the birthday parties. Coach Man-dumbass made ALL the personnel decisions. This is evident by the team’s 1-7 record and the fact that both the offense and defense rank no higher then 31st in virtually every statistical category. Now Captain Ahab says he will be involved in the hiring of the next general manager. Oh, no you don’t! This next GM needs to evaluate the situation without any obligation to Man-dumbass. And I expect the next general manager (whomever he/she may be) to throw Ahab overboard. So for Mangini to have input in the process would be like Louis XVI helping out with the executions. Now if I’m wrong and Man-dumbass is still here next year, throw another couch in that dumpster and watch it BURN, BURN, BURN!

Browns Scouts Have Found A Gem

The Browns are in dire need of talent. So the scouts have been dispatched far and wide in search of prospects. They are very high on Mauriece McIver currently #52 with the Las Vegas Cobras. His instincts are uncanny, his football I.Q. off the charts. This type of player would fit perfectly into the Browns' system. Check out his highlight video.

Browns top prospect @ Yahoo! Video